


Almost Perfect

by ForgottenChesire



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Mentioned Character Death, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-12 07:03:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7925236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForgottenChesire/pseuds/ForgottenChesire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony isn't coping very well with the loss of someone close to him. It doesn't help that not everyone understands that he has to get everything perfect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Almost Perfect

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that I have no problem with Pepper. She just happened to be the one who Tony unloads on.

Soft classical music plays through the speakers of the lab rather than its owners normal ACDC but it suits the mood. Small robots gather around a solitary figure that is running his fingers through curly brown hair peppered with grey. Eyes are narrowed in thought as he contemplates the softness of the strands.

* * *

 

_ “What are you doing Tony?” _

 

_ “Science!” _

 

_ “What could possibly be scientific about my hair?” _

 

_ “Just roll with it, Bruce.” _

* * *

 

A tired smile stretches across his face and he nods his head. It’s as close to perfect as he can get it. The amount of time he has spent trying to find the right synthetic fibers to replicate hair is nothing compared to how long the final leg will take. One of his hands drift down from the almost perfect- it will never be absolutely perfect- hair to cup the lax face. The android is almost complete.

* * *

 

_ “What do you think about making Jarvis a body?” _

 

_ “Why does he need a body? He has the tower and the suit.” _

 

_ “Can he feel in those? Can he taste?” _

 

_ “Huh. You’ve convinced me. What do you say, Jay?” _

 

_ “I would like that Sir. Maybe it would help in keeping you safe as well.” _

* * *

 

“Sir?”

 

“Just thinking Jarvis. You sure you’re okay with this?”

 

“Completely Sir, though that is not why I asked for your attention.”

 

“What’s up then?”

 

“Ms. Potts would like access to the lab.”

 

He frowns, tilting his head. Pepper should have free access to the lab.

 

“Why doesn’t she just come in.”

 

The words hang in the air and when Jarvis answers he is almost hesitant.

 

“I know that this is personal and I do not want her interrupting anything Sir.”

* * *

 

_ “I’m not interrupting am I?” _

 

_ “Not at all Big Green! Pepper was just telling me she has to leave.” _

 

_ “I didn’t mean it like that, Tony.” _

 

_ “I know Pep. You’re a very busy CEO and I can’t be more glad that I chose you to lead Stark Industries.” _

* * *

 

“Oh… Let her in Jay,” he says shaking away memories of the past. Vaguely he hears the swish of the lab door opening but he ignores it for now. Instead, he focuses on his newest baby. All the physical components are how he wants them. Now he just as to perfect the emotional ones. It will be delicate work but at least he has a foothold on it. A delicate clearing of a throat lets him know Pepper is behind him and doesn’t want to wait for him to acknowledge her. Which is smart because if he had his way he probably wouldn’t.

 

“Tony,” her voice is delicate and gentle and he hates it.

* * *

 

_ “They found him, Tony… Oh god, don’t look Pepper.” _

 

_ “Bruce!” _

 

_ "Tony what's going on?" _

* * *

 

“Yeah, Pep?”

 

She walks toward him, the click of her heels on the floor giving her away even while he refuses to look at her. Her hand lands on his shoulder, he tries to tell himself that he leans into the touch not flinch away from it.

 

“I know you miss him but Bru-”

 

“You don’t know what he would have wanted,” Tony cuts her off, turning around to face her. His heart is pounding, beating and thrashing against his chest in time with the struggling attempts of his lungs. His brain- the emotional part, the part that always gets him trouble- is screaming to cover up the truth of her words. To cover up the soft reminders to eat. The touches to his shoulder when they had worked for two days straight and needed sleep. It brings up her clear hesitance to get to know Bruce, her fear of Big Green- careful neglecting to bring up the fact that Pepper asked forgiveness for her hesitance- it demands to know how dare she presume to know? Know anything at all about Bruce. How dare she pretend that she knew anything at all about Bruce? Something must show in his eyes or maybe on his face because she takes a step back from him.

 

“Tony…”

 

“What? Tony what? What are you going to say? That you knew him? That you were privy to his thoughts? Well, you’re wrong! Jarvis and I were the only ones who accepted him right from the start.  _ We _ were the ones that he trusted. You treated him like you came to treat me, only worse cause you didn’t have a base relationship to soften the blows. Any problems he had were just him seeking attention, wasn’t it? Oh, you were hunted down like an animal? That’s no cause for PTSD! You’re just being over emotional,” he rants. He stays still because if he starts to pace he’ll find something to throw. He doesn’t want to hurt her physically.

 

“Did you know that he’s the one who found me a shrink? Steve’s little bird friend, Sam, I see him at least every Monday or I did. Bruce felt like shit that he fell asleep while I was talking to him- using him as a shrink despite the fact that he isn’t one and has-had his own issues- so he found me someone who was ‘that kind of doctor’. He did that for me Pep. What did you do?” he asks her slowly exploding all his grief pushed anger on her. She takes it though her eyes start to water. He can’t decide if he hates her for that. Everything has been building since Bruce-

* * *

 

_ “I’m just going to pop down to the farmers market. Want anything?” _

 

_ “Nah.” _

 

_ “Tony, Bruce is missing. We think that Ross had something to do with it.” _

* * *

 

His jaw aches from the force of his grinding as he stares down someone he loved once. At someone who couldn’t handle everything he was. At a friend, he had once trusted literally with his life.

 

“What  _ do _ you know of Bruce, Pepper? Do you know his favorite brand of tea? What about his favorite flavor? Did he favor peppermint over chamomile? Do you know his favorite yoga position or the meditative pose he went into after a nightmare bad enough to wake him but not enough to wake the Jolly Giant? Did you know those were possible? If you can answer those, then I might consider anything you  _ think _ Bruce might have wanted.”

 

He sees the walls go up in her eyes, sees her square her shoulders and prepares himself for what she’ll say. She’ll say her peace, proverbially slap his wrist and leave just like all the other times something happens and she doesn’t want to deal with it. Only her eyes flick to the side, he watches in confusion as her shoulders droop.

 

“You loved him didn’t you?” she asks softly. Broken huffs of laughter escaped him.

* * *

 

_ “Blueberry?” _

 

_ “Stay with me? You can play in Candyland all you want?” _

 

_ “Huh, they like you. They haven’t really liked anyone since Obie hurt us.” _

 

_ “I’m glad you feel safe here.” _

* * *

 

“Didn’t you ever wonder why I modeled the android after him? Why Jarvis was okay with changing the functions from being keyed to him to being a blank slate waiting for memories? Why I’m so damned focused on getting it perfect?”

 

“I thought you were ignoring your feelings! Burying them in your work and that the fact it looks like Bruce was a coincidence!”

 

They lapse into silence, Tony watching her watching him. Another rant is building in his throat but he doubts it will do any good. Her gaze goes from him to the android and her lips purse together.

 

“This isn’t healthy.”

 

“Yeah well neither was drinking away my problems yet you never gave a shit to stop me then. Why is now different?”

 

“Because you weren’t the only one who lost a friend. You aren’t the only one blaming themselves for not being quicker.”

 

He wants to snap, to bite out how typical it is of her that she cares more for others than she does him but he can’t. It’s her way of showing she cares, of making sure that he doesn’t think only of himself. But it still hurts. It still stings like salt in his wounds that she can’t see he’s trying not to fall apart. That he’s trying to keep a promise he made. So he takes a deep breath and after he’s let it out he talks.

 

“Then they can come down here.”

 

She makes a noise but doesn’t comment further. He waits until she leaves to speak up.

 

“Hey, Jay… Transfer her open access to Cap and… Hawkeye. Everyone else has semipermeable access.”

  
“Of course sir.” 

**Author's Note:**

> This was spawned by a prompt found on http://witterprompts.tumblr.com/


End file.
